Well here we are on Day 11 of Prep and what a ride so far. On Day 9 I got a call from his Teacher to chat about his behaviour. Imagine my reaction then when I arrive at school to collect him and am told that he spent the last session in the Principals office with another boy.
Wow....I felt sad, upset, embarrassed and totally at a loss with my parenting skills. It's days and weeks like these that I struggle to like my son. Yes I love him...but at the moment I am finding it hard to like him. He can be such a charmer sometimes, kind and helpful...but all I see now is the naughty him...the tired, tantrum throwing boy who is rude to his mother. And he's only 5.
I don't want him to end up as the child who is left out at school because the other kids don't like him, or missing out on parties because they don't want him there. I need to like him more...and in liking him more...I am sure I will love him more too and when i love him more........ it just goes round doesn't it.
So how do I like him more?
Today was Day 11 and it was better at school today. The teacher said you could really see that he was trying all day and only got Time Out once in the afternoon. So that's a start.
6 comments:
((hugs)) I wish there was a magic solution. But I will tell you that you are not a lousy mum! You are an awesome Mum. I have seen you in action. Keep praying.... xoxo
I think that a significant element in all this would be him just being so tired. I know my big fella is.
Hopefully some of the measures that have been put in place will help and we'll all be praying too.
I spent so much time and energy agonising over my oldest son's behaviour at school for a period a while back... but found that it was bad for him AND me if I was focusing all my attention on his behaviour at school... the teachers are there to deal with that, you should encourage good behaviour yes, but if it is all you talk about with him it will become like 'living by the train track', he just won't hear it...
I think alot of praise for the desired behaviour works a treat. It's also important, I think, not to punish him at home for something he has already been punished (ie. time out) for at school. Express dissapointment perhaps, but say something encouraging like 'wow, only 1 time out, i bet you can get through the whole day without ANY time outs tomorrow, cause you're getting such a big helpful boy and i'm so proud of you trying hard!'.
Another point to note is that Consistant consequences are invaluable... even when you think you have nipped a particular behaviour in the butt, I'm sure kids have little nerve explosions in their brains that make them for some reason need to test the boundaries just to see if they can now get away with a behaviour that you thought was long gone... but the key is to simply employ the original consequence for said behaviour and in doing so you give a strong message that 'yes i'm really sick of that behaviour, yes i'm really tired, yes i have so many other things to do, but NO - I WILL NOT BE PUTTING UP WITH THAT AGAIN!'...
It's tough when you have a strong-willed, energetic child, but God created some people like that for a reason, and the potential they have to be wonderful adults is immense and amazing!!
When you feel like you really can't take it anymore, just lock yourself in your room for 5 minutes and cry!! Always relieves some pent up stress for me! :) Good luck.
Oops... as if my 'comment' wasn't long enough, I did forget something!! Like Scurrette mentioned... a key element in all of this is 'tired'... it's only prep, so if he is getting too tired from 5 full days of school, keep him home in the middle of the week a few times and make him rest... quiet activities, reading, puzzles, t.v etc... It's amazing how tiring it can be to learn letters, numbers and colours!! :)
It's hard to be the mum of the misbehaving kid! It sounds like you're doing all the right things.
I've just stumbled across your blog and had to add a comment here because you ahve struck such a chord with me. First I hae to say, I hope things have settled down with your son. My daughter is now in grade 3 and for kindy, prep, yr 1 and half of yr 2 she was the kids always in trouble. I felt (and often still feel) the exact same way as you. I got to the point where I blamed myself, felt such resentment for my daughter, and doubted my parenting skills. In my case, it turns out my daughter has quite bad ADD and every day is a battle but we get there.
It sounds like you are doing a great job and it is great the teachers are onto it straight away... hang in there, you are not alone xx
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